Mistakes
by sHlander
Summary: Cophine. Right around the end of season 1-before Cosima was super sick or there were male clones or anything-just Cosima and Delphine in a semi-safe bubble. P.S. I love feedback :D
1. Chapter 1

"Cosima—I—I don't think this is such a good idea," Delphine whispered as she pulls back from the kiss.

It had only been four days since Delphine followed Cosima to Canada after their fallout, and while Cosima was still wary of the other woman, things had been steadily getting better—up until now.

Cosima came back down from the high that was Delphine's lips when she heard the French woman talking.

"What?"

"Ehm—this," she motioned between the two of them. "I think maybe we should go slower."

Cosima paused and arched her eyebrows.

"We? You think _we_ should go slower? After you lied to me and betrayed me and I took you back? You think you have the right to say how things should go?" Cosima was now fully snapped back into reality and was angry that Delphine had brushed off her advance.

"I'm just not—I think i—I think we need more time." Delphine tried to back away from Cosima and act as if the whole thing wasn't as big of a deal as the dark haired woman was making it.

"We? Or you?"

Delphine turned away and began to fill up the teapot with hot water from the sink.

"I just think we have other things to focus on."

Cosima caught a glimpse of the taller woman when she turned halfway towards her in front of the kitchen window—her face was red and she was wiping her her hands on her pants. She seemed nervous and was obviously avoiding her—but why?

"Delphine?" she crossed her arms and walked slowly over to where the blonde was making tea. Delphine quickly tried to busy herself while Cosima tried to herd her in to a corner.

"Hmm?" She said as she tried, but failed, to maneuver her way around the shorter girl.

"What's going on?" Cosima asked as she leaned in with her arms crossed firmly over her chest.

Delphine's voice faltered as she blinked nervously and tried to think of something to say as she felt her girlfriend's body heat against her own.

"I just—I'm not ready for this!" she blurted out. Immediately after saying the words, she wished she hadn't.

Cosima raised an eyebrow and squinted while contemplating what Delphine could have meant.

"Ok? So you come all the way up here for—what exactly? To spy on me?"

Delphine exhaled as she pulled two mugs down off the shelf.

"No! That isn't what I meant!"

"Well that's what it sounded like you meant."

"Well it isn't and I wish you wouldn't put words in my mouth!"

"Well then what did you mean?"

Delphine angrily slammed the teapot down on the stove and picked up her mug as she stormed over to the couch.

"I meant I don't want to have sex with you!"

Delphine cringed at the sound of her own voice and shuddered at the tension that suddenly overcame the whole apartment.

Cosima slowly walked over to the living room and sat on the arm of the couch. Delphine wouldn't even look at her.

"Delphine?"

No answer.

She inched closer and felt her girlfriend tense up.

"Delphine?"

Cosima placed a hand on the taller woman's shoulder.

"Delphine, _please_, just—what do you mean? You don't—you don't find me attractive or—"

"You—you said I was bad in bed." She turned away and got her computer out. Cosima's heart sank.

She hadn't meant that—well she meant that she could tell that it was Delphine's first time with a woman, but not in a bad way.

"Delphine," she said in a much softer tone. "Look at me."

Delphine ignored her for a minute, but Cosima scooted closer, gently took her laptop out of her hands, and placed it on the coffee table. Then she positioned herself on her girlfriend's lap and used a finger to snake her chin upwards. Still, Delphine's eyes avoided contact with her.

"Delphine, you don't think I meant that, do you?"

Cosima searched her eyes for any sign that any of it was getting through. Nothing. She sighed.

"Is that what this is about? What I said back in my apartment?"

Delphine nodded and opened her mouth.

"It's fine. I—I shouldn't have. I should have just—"

"Delphine, listen to me—what I said—I was just being a bitch. I was pissed and hurt and angry and I shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry."

Delphine was quiet.

"Do you forgive me?"

She nodded again but she stayed quiet.

"You know—just because I could tell it was your first time doesn't mean that it was bad—you shouldn't be embarrassed."

Delphine still said nothing.

"Actually, it was kinda fun, you know? Seeing how new and fun and overwhelming it was for you? I kinda liked it. You were totes cute."

Cosima smiled at her, but all Delphine did was let out a small snort and shake her head.

"I'm serious!" Cosima pleaded. "Please believe me."

Delphine finally relented and let her eyes meet the other woman's.

Cosima cocked her head to the side and flashed one her trademark grins.

"Does this mean I can kiss you now?"

Delphine said nothing so Cosima decided to press her luck and lean in. Delphine's lips were so soft and warm, but they seemed adamant about not kissing her back. The brunette sighed and pulled away. She pulled Delphine's hands into her own and brought them to her lips. She kissed each of them while looking at her with pleading eyes.

"Baby, please?

Delphine stayed frozen, but then slowly leaned forward, paused just a few centimeters away and then finally closed the gap with a soft, slightly hesitant kiss. She pulled away and looked down at her lap while biting her bottom lip.

"Cosima, I don't—"

The brunette cupped the blonde's face in her hand.

"Trust me."

Delphine stared at the woman on top of her. Cosima could see the fear and hesitation in her eyes. She cocked her head to the side, arched her eyebrows, and asked the taller woman to follow her as she led her into the bedroom.

Delphine seemed bolted down to the floor when the smaller woman stole a glance at her as she closed the curtains around the bed. When she finished, she walked over and took the blonde woman's hands in her own. Cosima smiled and tried to get the other woman to relax as their lips met.

For a moment Delphine forgot to be scared and kissed back with just as much passion, but then she felt Cosima's arms snake around her waist and she remembered her insecurities.

"Cosima," she whispered as she pulled away. "I—I can't. I'm sorry."

Cosmic loosened her arms from Delphine's waist, stared at the ground for a brief moment, and smiled just as large as always.

"That's okay. I don't want to pressure you or anything, especially since I was the bitch. What, um, what do you want to do?"

Delphine felt relieved that Cosima didn't seem hurt or upset. She shrugged in response to the question but immediately began to miss the feeling of the other woman's arms around her when she turned away.

The brunette walked down the couple steps into the living room and grabbed her computer.

"Want to watch something on Netflix? I know! Have you ever seen the x-files?"

Delphine shook her head no as she stayed planted in the same spot at the foot of the bed.

Cosima brought it up on her laptop and then patted the seat on the couch next to her.

"Come on."

Delphine hesitated for a minute and then nervously said, "Or we could watch it in bed—if that's okay with you. I mean just because I don't want to—you know—well we can still be in the same bed."

Cosima seemed a little surprised but didn't miss a beat in bringing her computer over and flopping down on the bed. Delphine smiled at and crawled in next to her.

Halfway through the first episode, the blonde's hand found it's way into the brunettes and by the end of the episode, her head had found it's way onto the brunette's chest.

Cosmic hadn't initiated any of that, in fact it was proving to be pure torture with every new movement from Delphine-to know that she couldn't touch the other woman the way she wanted to, yet here they were with their bodies intertwined, a mess of golden curls falling all over her chest and arm. Cosima swore it was causing her physical pain.

"I missed this," Delphine stated.

"Hm? Yeah me too. Totally."

Delphine turned around and propped herself up to face the woman who was halfway beneath her.

"Cosima?"

"Yeah?"

"Your heart is racing a million miles a minute," the French woman said with a knowing grin.

Cosima's face turned red as she twisted her way out and away from Delphine.

"I know, ok? What do you want me to do about it? I haven't touched you in over a week and now you have your head on my chest? I respect that you don't want to do anything—I really do, that's totally cool with me—but don't expect my body to just shut down. I can't help that my heart is doing that."

Delphine laughed and caught the other woman as she tried to bury her face in the pillows.

"You don't have to be ashamed. I just wanted to see the look on your face."

The brunette let herself be pushed back onto her back as she pretended to be mad and glared at the other woman.

"You're cruel."

"Maybe, but not as cruel as you."

Cosmic groaned. "I know, I know. I'm sorry. I'm a bitch I know. Now I must suffer in a sexless hell for it."

"You are a bitch, but I still like you. Plus your suffering can't be that bad considering I'm so horrible in bed."

Cosima began to sit up.

"That's not what I said! What I said was—"

In that moment Delphine managed to shut Cosima up with a kiss.

"You talk too much, you're interrupting the show."

With that Cosima glared at her and then Delphine flipped over to face the laptop. Cosima cuddled up to her back and soon fell asleep. At the end of the episode, Delphine shut the computer, slid it onto the floor, and turned to face the sleeping woman next to her.

She removed her glasses and traced her features with her index feature, then she brushed Cosmic's forehead with a light kiss, whispered 'good night' and fell asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Cosima was halfway awoken by the smell of alcohol and stale breath filling her nostrils. She scrunched her nose before finally opening her eyes.

"Holy fuck, Felix—what the hell?" she screamed at the disturbing sight of Felix's face less than two inches from her own. He had been leaning over the side of the bed breathing on her for several minutes.

"Don't you yell at me. You're the one getting your lesbian all over my creative inspiration." He stood up and took his coat off while walking across the bedroom. Cosima groggily sat up, swung her legs over the side, and sighed.

"Okay I really have no clue what that means," she sleepily wiped her eyes and glanced over at Delphine—who was desperately trying to fake sleep to get away from Felix's wrath.

"Are you going to stay here forever like the rest of you freaky clones? My flat is not some hostel you come stay at for a cultural experience."

Cosima grabbed her glasses, stood up, and walked into the kitchen to make coffee.

"Actually," she held her index finger up; "I would disagree with you on the—the "cultural experience" part. That actually is the definition of your apartment. Alison would definitely agree."

"All I'm saying is since you were fornicating in MY bed last night, at least change the sheets thank you very much!"

The whole apartment went silent as Cosima raised her eyebrows and sucked in a short breath while avoiding eye contact. Felix looked from Delphine to Cosima and then raised his head and got a slight smile. He walked closer to Cosima.

"Cos, you and Frenchy—you are—"

Delphine gets out of bed and begins throwing clothes on as Cosima lets out her breath in a huff as she cut him off.

"Yep, ok thanks. We'll do that, kay? So how was last night? You were with some guy from the morgue? Sounds freaky in a totally good way."

"Cosima." Felix slowly walked towards her as the dreaded girl rolled her eyes and leaned back against the counter and Delphine frantically put on shoes.

"What?"

"You and Frenchy DID go muff-diving in my bed last night, didn't you?"

Delphine quickly grabs her purse and walks towards the door. She gives a little wave to the other woman and mumbles something about 'giving them some time to talk'. With that she slams the door behind her. Cosima turns back to Felix.

"God—muff-diving? Really?"

"Oh my god. You haven't gotten laid yet, have you? Four whole days and Frency's still holding out on you?"

Cosima slams the coffee pot back into the coffee maker after pouring herself a mug.

"No, I haven't, ok? God! You couldn't wait til she was gone to say this shit?"

Felix shrugs and flops down on his couch. Cosima follows.

"What happened?"

Cosima lets her head fall back before turning to face him.

"I kinda sorta may have said something about being able to tell that it was her first time with a girl when we were in Minnesota."

Felix scoffed.

"I knew she was a breeder from the moment I saw her."

"Ok can you stop saying things like that?"

Felix looked offended.

"Like what?"

"Like 'muff-diving' and 'breeder' and what was that other one you said a couple days ago?"

"Transgressive lesbian geek spiral."

Cosima snapped her fingers.

"Yes! That one."

Felix just rolled his eyes and flipped his hair back.

"Alright so now what? She won't let you get it on or whatever term it is you want me to use?"

Cosima shook her head.

"Nope. She's convinced she will suck in bed so now we are just stuck in this horrible place where we watch episode after episode of x-files while cuddling." Cosima's face was one of disgust.

"Is that the one with that hunky detective type with good hair? What's his name?"

"Mulder."

"That's it! He is quite fit, that one."

"Mm. He is."

They sat in silence for a second while they both pondered the fictional truth seeker. Felix finally broke it.

"Well I mean, she will suck, so you can't really lie about that one. The only thing to do is give her a six or seven drinks and get it over with."

Cosima eyed her friend.

"Felix. I'm not going to drug Delphine."

"Who said anything about drugs?"

"The thing is—I don't mind it. I mean yeah it's awkward and weird and I definitely don't plan on cumming for the first couple times but it's fine. I don't really care. I like it and I like her and it's totally okay if she sucks at 'muff-diving' for awhile, you know?"

"Oh god, you better not tell Sarah all this—so much for 'approaching logically'." He sighed. "Well what did she say when you told her all that?"

"Erm I guess I DIDN'T say all that. I mean I told her that I didn't mind it last time but maybe I should have—elaborated more?"

"It's worth a shot. Quite frankly I don't really care whose fish you kiss as long as I don't have to smell it on my sheets. I'm staying at Colin's again tonight so you get another chance. DON'T mess it up—I'm kicking you out tomorrow."


End file.
